new shapes

2 weeks

Hi!

I’ve been mourning. Something has shifted. Life, the one that I knew, has become formless, shaping itself in forms I do not recognise (yet). The sea attracts me in this current state of being, as well as other waterbodies (I love this word, waterbody. I am a waterbody.) How they are shapeless and fill in any form they’re in, slowly opening it up, sometimes overflowing, leaving traces overtime. The sea has become my fried, or rather a guide, in this time.
Do not worry; this is something beautiful. Old stories are getting new endings, like the photographs I have been unarchiving and the poems that have been rewritten in my time here.

I am quite happy; I walk a lot, I create from the old with newfound energy, I linger by the water, always looking for her. I have not yet told her my secrets, only a tear and a wish. I take care of myself in the ways I know: cooking, resting, creating, meditating, writing. A few days ago it was again hot enough to swim. I was elated. The first time I was actually going for a walk, but it was unexpectedly very hot, the water and halfnaked bodies on rocks so inviting, I toook a plunge (or two) in my underwear. I was prepared the other day, but I still dry myself with the sun.

I have been meeting lovely people and I will have a cat as a companion soon. I still spend a lot of time by myself, the situation demands it. The need for fun with others will seep back in, but for now I’m still. I needed some one-on-one time with myself, after a long year of demands and grievances. I have never been more in love. The sea has always been my mother and I’m growing in her arms.

I leave you with some cherished views of her.

I hold you from afar. Thank you for your wishes.

Other things:
1. Just to be clear, last time I wrote that I probably am anti-fascist. I don’t know why I wrote it that way, because the word should be definitely instead of probably.
2. Please please keep your eyes on Gaza & Palestine (& Sudan & Congo & …) . Boycot, protest, write mails to your gouvernment, support financially if you can, disrupt … We are not free until we are all free.
3. I keep on loving.